she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
ok first of all what the fuck
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
