Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Randomize
