not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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