I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Randomize
