Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Houston, we have a squirter
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
