I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
the gays at disneyland are vicious
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
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