3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
This is the prime rib incident all over again
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Randomize
