Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Randomize
