..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
