He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
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