Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
