capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
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