I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
