so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Randomize
