Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Randomize
