If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
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