That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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