Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Randomize
