I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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