that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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