I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
