It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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