3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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