Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Randomize
