Cold hands, warm shart.
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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