I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
