I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
