I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
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