How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
