I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Randomize
