you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
