...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
