just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Welp...herpes.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Randomize
