thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize