So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
