I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I'm bleeding and have questions
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