i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
