Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
