so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
