I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
