; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
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