you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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