So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
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