next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
