No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
