One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
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She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
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Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
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