I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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