You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
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