How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
