so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
