yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
These tits shall not be calmed
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