and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Church boner. Awkwardddd
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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