Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Welp...herpes.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
