Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
