he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
being pregnant is like rehab
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
you never un-have a 4some
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
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