I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
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