I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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