bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
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