we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
